48 hours ago, my husband and I sat our four kids down in the living room and told them that we were getting divorced. My husband also told them that he is gay. So far, everything seems eerily normal and everyone seems okay.
After working this out for the past few months, we knew that it was getting close to time to tell the kids. We agreed that we should tell them on the weekend, so they would have some time to process before facing the rest of the world. Friday night, after baseball practice I asked him if he was ready. We drove home and gathered our family in the living room.
All of the kids were asking what was up. “Are we going on a trip? Are we talking about summer?” Finally our middle child asked if we were poor, or if we were moving. I answered, “no and no”. I took a breath to start the conversation and then she asked, “are you getting divorced?” I exhaled, and told her “yes”. The next question of course was why. My husband choked back his tears and told our children that it is because he is gay.
We spent the next half hour explaining that we were still a family, and that this is no ones fault. We stressed that Dad and I are and always will be best friends, we just won’t always live in the same house. We discussed the plan; I need to finish this semester of school, I need to have my surgery, and then I need to find a job. Once those three things are done, Dad will get his own place. Hopefully somewhere close enough that you can ride your bikes and that Dad is always welcome to come over to this house. Family events will still be the same; Dad will come over to help with the Christmas tree and of course come over for birthdays and holidays. We asked if anyone had questions and they did, but nothing dramatic.
Then we went to Subway and had dinner. Then we went to a bookstore, but not for anything in particular. Then we came home and played our favorite card game.
I have asked each of them individually how they are doing a few times over the weekend, and everyone is okay. The youngest two are interested in where Dad’s apartment will be and hope it will be nice. The older two haven’t said much. Life is going on, it will be redefined of course, but we are all going to be okay.